wildermemes | TEST DRIVE ※ 2

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test drive meme

TEST DRIVE ※ 2

TEST DRIVE ※ 2
The spirit of the Green needs defenders but the game of fate it must play makes it so that its plans are like a garden, always in need of careful pruning. Only certain individuals are capable of living a life of adventure -- and even many who are capable may not be the heroes the Wilderlands needs.

The only way for the Green to be sure is by providing a test -- and as far as tests go, this one's a doozy, because the situation is real. There are countless conflicts all over the Wilderlands that are in need of intervention, so the Green tosses you head first into one of them with no warning or explanation. During it, you may perhaps run into others like yourself, thrown in over their heads -- or into others that came to the Wilderlands before you. Either way, your only chance of getting through it is to work together with whatever other unfortunates you find.

Welcome to the wilds, hero. Good luck with that whole 'deadly peril' thing.

MICKEY, YOU HAD ONE JOB!
A powerful Sorcerer left his apprentice in charge of his lair, but the apprentice has made a mess of things. He enchanted a broom and animated it to do some of his chores, like filling a basin with buckets of water. After the broom went out of control and overfilled the basin, he was forced to destroy it, but the shards only turned into more anthropomorphic brooms.

Now, hundreds of brooms are pouring water into the Sorcerer's lair, the Sorcerer's apprentice has run away (and magically locked the door, because he's a coward) and you're stuck in the middle of it all as the brooms keep pouring more and more water down the stairs into the Sorcerers' stronghold.

This room is filled with the requisite wizarding accouterments (like a stuffed alligator hanging from the ceiling) and most of it is just replaceable magical tchotchkes, but some of the books here are priceless and one of a kind. The Sorcerer is a force for good and his careless apprentice has made it so important ancient books may be destroyed before he returns, ones that could help turn the tide against evil in the Wilderlands.

The Green whispers to you that the brooms must be stopped and the books must be saved. The voices tell you that the magic in them is needed to save lives.

Also, you kinda need to not drown. Because the water's up to your knees and drowning's definitely a thing that might be happening if this keeps carrying on. The door is magically locked and the windows are magically warded so that while water can be poured out through them, people can't travel in or out of them. You're trapped.

Time to start bailing water and working together. Things are starting to look a little damp.

STUFF YOU CAN DO
A. FIGHT A HOUSEHOLD CLEANING IMPLEMENT

The brooms can probably be destroyed permanently! Maybe. Possibly.

It's worth a shot, right? Aside from the destructive magic you might find yourself now possessing (or superpowers or magic weapons...) The Sorcerer seems to have been doing some experimentation with gunpowder, among other things. The lair has firewood, flint and other firemaking supplies. Also axes and other tools.

The brooms can potentially reproduce from the shards if destroyed but if burned to ash or if the pieces are fine enough it may be possible to stop them once and for all. But if you fail, well, you may find your problem multiplying.

B. MESS WITH MAGIC

The Sorcerer has a lot of interesting-looking books on magic. Maybe you can find something useful within one of them that can stop the brooms and help make some of the water disappear?

Or you may just accidentally curse yourself. Good luck with that.

(OOC: All magic within the books can potentially help somewhat but only a little. Otherwise, characters can god any kind of curse effects they like for their character that occur from reading the books or trying to cast magic: legs turning to jelly, their voices turning squeaky, characters shrinking, characters growing in height, etc. etc. Feel free to get creative!)

C. BAIL A BUDDY OUT

Sometimes the best thing to do is push up your sleeves, grab a bucket, and get to work. While you can't climb out the warded windows, the water can be poured out of them and there are plenty of buckets to use to bail water. Grab a new friend and try to form a bucket brigade for a very work-intensive and awkward first introduction.

D. THE FLOOR IS LAVA

Well, not necessarily lava, but as the room starts filling with water, the floating furniture might be the only thing keeping you and the people around you alive. Help the people around you perch on furniture and stay afloat. Save the important books if you can, too, but you may want to make not drowning and preventing others from drowning a priority until the crisis is over.

G. FREESTYLE

The situation is pretty silly, with wild magic, gunpowder, anthropomorphic brooms, and flooding going on. Feel free to make something up! It's a big lair with a lot going on.

OOC INFO
✦ This TDM is open to everyone. However, top-levels should be made for potential new characters only. Characters currently in the game should only tag top-levels.

✦ Potential players may use test drive threads as their log samples. However, at least one post in their thread must fit the requirements for apps, both in length (200 words) and in quality. If you do plan on using a thread as a sample, please make sure the writing throughout your threads is a good example of your writing skills and has some solid examples of the character's voice.

✦ Current players can count TDMs towards AC. They can only count towards comment-based AC proofs.

✦ Potential players can opt to keep these threads as game canon when they app in, or start over fresh, based on preference. The magic bringing them to the game universe can fog their memories, if players don't want their character to remember TDM threads when introing into the game.

✦ Apps open: 4/1/18

✦ The game has limited slots. Please keep this in mind! We've had a lot of replurks in the announcement plurk, but the game is meant to be a very small game, with only 25 slots total, and many of these were already filled in the game's beta test round. There may be only around 10 or so open slots when apps open to everyone. The game will have a wait queue if the game hits cap during the app round but please be prepared for potential disappointment if we happen to hit cap you wind up not getting a player slot immediately. It's not personal; we'd love to accommodate everyone but the nature of the kind of campaign we're trying to run wouldn't work with a larger game.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

"I don't know what a 'movie' is and the elves don't need to make up a language, they have their own," Alacruun replies through gritted teeth. He can already tell that he's going to want to kill someone before this is over.

Someone being Kevin. Probably.

"I'm not entirely sure I'm willing to trust survival to the vagaries of whatever enchantment keeps us here, you know," He replies, with a hint of skepticism. The water, at least, isn't rising too quickly. So he has some time to chat.

"I won't stop you, though. Hopefully you're correct and we don't lose half of us because the magic inherent to this place couldn't figure out that humans need air to breathe..."

He's a touch cynical about that sort of thing, but the last place he lived that involved magic was his prison. Which wasn't all that fun.

"This 'fucking around with a book', as you so delightfully put it, is going to find us a solution. Ideally. If magic animated these things, there's magic to stop them somewhere in here. It's just a matter of finding it!"

If Alacruun sounds like he's talking down to Dixon, it's because he absolutely, one hundred percent is. From their brief encounter, he's already pretty sure that Dixon is a fool with no appreciation for the hard work that goes into twisting reality to suit your whims.

"You can't always rush it - besides, suing the wrong one could just make things worse!"

Maybe if you shut up you'd be able to use your brain instead of your mouth and come up with something.

[His raven, Chainsaw, flew over to rest on his shoulder. She shook her damp wings and some droplets of water hit Ronan's face. He barely blinked, but he did hold up his hand so she'd move onto his arm. The bird was too much like him: stubborn, rude, and clueless.

If you can't cut up the brooms, cut off their source.

[Ronan had seen a lot in his life. Demons, talking possessed ravens, living dreams, and now he could add magically dividing brooms and a talking mouse to the list. Somehow it was the mouse he couldn't handle.

The brooms resumed their march while Ronan struggled to process this.]

What the hell? Is this Minnie Mouse after a makeover?

[Chainsaw flew closer, staring at the mouse with intent in her beady eyes. Ronan didn't know what kind of intent, she never needed to hunt, but he would rather not risk her eating this magic rodent over here. It might give her indigestion. He called her over.]

Chainsaw.

[The raven didn't obey right away but then she flew back to him.]

[ Adam, who does not recall any other dreaming but this and certainly not the arrival of a new car, looks skeptical. He's annoyed, if he's being honest, and the only thing separating him from angry is the chance that it is leftover crap. This is definitely a dream, so it might have to wear off a bit.

Or it could be that Ronan's dreaming it there, but that should be okay, if he doesn't take it home. ]

Right. The brooms.

[ He agrees to placate and redirect the conversation to where he wants it to be. Adam doesn't even register the words fully. ]

I'm more worried about why I'm here than them. I can think, so... I'm real.

[ No, he's not, Adam realizes. He's not the first person in a dream to think. He's not even the third. Hell. What happens when Ronan wakes up? Does he go in subconscious storage or is that just... it. ]

"You better watch your mouth or I'll shove a broom up your ass." Dixon's absorbing less Alacruun's words than that condescending tone, and, like most people, he's no great fan of being on the receiving end of it.

He's even willing to be completely counterproductive to avoid it, so actually beating Alacruun with a broom isn't totally out of the question.

"What about magic to get rid of the water? Buy us some time while you look for the other magic."

[Ronan looked at Adam, confused. He wasn't used to him getting so existential on him, not unless Cabeswater was involved. Even then, he never expected Adam to say it.]

Uh yeah, you didn't suddenly turn into plastic.

[Now he was more concerned about his boyfriend that any potential assailants. He set his axe back where it belonged and then sloshed back over to Adam.]

We just gotta figure out how to get out. I don't want to star in a Disney movie. I'm not prince material.

"I would almost like to see you try," Alacruun sounds dryly amused by Dixon's threats. He probably shouldn't be, because he's currently an elf and he's stuck in a room with an irate human, but Alacruun has always thought very highly of himself and his ability to deal with things.

"Just give me a moment, will you? These things take time. Research is usually best conducted without all these distractions...!"

[ ~~he'll fuck bears over but that's all~~

Ouma kind of gives Shuichi a skeptical look when he grabs the arm of his chair like that, although he'll lean his own weight away to accompany the new addition. Shuichi isn't exactly inspiring confidence here after his little episode with the table, okay. ]

Hmm... I was kinda hoping you'd just drown.

[ He mutters this, like he's talking to himself, although it's intentionally loud enough for Shuichi to hear. ]

Well, whatever. You can thank me by not capsizing me, by the way.

[ Ouma takes a seat in the corner of his chair (since Shuichi's weight is actually keeping the thing more balanced for him to do so), crossing his legs and setting the book down open in his lap so he can see what Shuichi was looking at earlier -- is this a spell?? ]

[Shuichi is...mostly sure that's a lie. Ouma basically stage-whispering it is enough evidence of that on its own. But that doesn't make it pleasant to hear, and Shuichi angles a mildly annoyed look up at his classmate before sighing.

He could just let go and paddle back to the table instead, but the way Ouma's repositioned himself means Shuichi can't really do that without letting Ouma unbalance and take a dip himself. It'd probably be deserved, but Shuichi doesn't have it in him to be that mean.

Besides, Ouma has the book, and the thing's only just barely avoided being destroyed in the flooding as it is.]

It's a spellbook, I think.

[That feels kind of embarassing to say, but clearly they're a bit beyond debates about magic being real here. His cheeks tinge just faintly pink regardless, and he adjusts his grip on the arm of the chair so he can push his wet hair out of his face and conveniently hide behind his hand for a moment.]

I thought something that might stop or slow down the brooms would be safer than trying to destroy them, so...

[Magic. Awesome.]

"You keep it up and you will." It may escalate past an idle threat, but there's a flood of new brooms rushing up the stairs, and that's enough of a distraction that Dixon doesn't get long enough to weigh the pros and cons of hitting Alacruun upside the head.

"Oh, sorry, I'll ask the fucking brooms to keep quiet so you can concentrate, how's that?"

[ Ouma looks up from the book, observing their present situation with a sigh. ]

Maaan... How come we're the ones stuck cleaning up after a bunch of brooms? I mean, how backwards is that?!

[ No comment on the magic. That's apparently a truth here... Whether or not it's always been a truth concealed by some very good liars that are able trick everyone, he's not one to say, but if that's the case then he's super jealous!!

Ouma wonders if it's true that they can use these spells themselves, though. That would be exciting and useful, but he's not sure if he wants to fuck with that himself yet.

...He looks at Shuichi with sudden interest. ]

Well, since it's your idea, I'll let you try it out first!

[ Look, he'll even hold the book up and open in his lap, turning it around so that it's on display for Shuichi. He grins expectantly. ]

Edited 2018-03-30 05:48 (UTC)

It's definitely ironic...

[Congrats, Ouma, you got a weak little smile out of him. It fades pretty quickly as he's basically told to go ahead and try out some random magic -- he's not exactly thrilled to fuck with this stuff himself -- but hey, take the little victories where you can get them.

Frankly, he's not even sure what the language in the book is. He can read the letters and generally tell how everything should be pronounced (he hopes), but the exact meaning of it all is lost on him. But he'd been looking through books in a hurry trying to find one that might be helpful, and this one was formatted less like pages of prose and more like sets of instructions. And there were lots of pictures. He'd figured that could be useful for figuring out what the writings on each page were about.

The page Ouma's holding up has one such illustration on it, an elegant-looking depiction of ice and frost. He'd been kinda grasping at straws here, okay? But it could maybe do something to stop the brooms, or at least slow them.

Or it could freeze all the water in the room and all the others here still trying to work in it. Or it could give someone horrible frostbite and cost them a limb. Or it could do nothing at all. He's got no idea how it's supposed to work, but he suspects it isn't anything that usually done while hanging off the side of an armchair in the middle of a flood. All these thoughts really aren't making him any more confident here. Frowning uneasily, he leans in to peer at the page more closely.]

Just...give me a second, okay? I don't know how this is supposed to work. I'm not Yumeno-san.

[ Thank hell he didn't run into Yumeno in a place where magic actually exists because that would be so extra. Then again, she might also be able to do things a little faster for them. Figures she's not around when they need her!! ]

O-kay! Do your best, Saihara-chan.

[ Ouma does see the hesitation written all over his face, though. He can tell he's probably assuming the worst, especially with being told to try it first. Shuichi is definitely a piece of work, but he's not stupid. Ouma likes him for that. ]

...Oh yeah, you heard it too, right? The creepy voice saying this magic was gonna be used to save lives? So...I don't think anything too nasty will happen if you use it.

[ Like death. That'd be counterproductive. All this assuming it works for them, of course.

Anyway, don't mind Ouma -- he's probably just rambling!! ]

But using magic for good... Talk about boring! Don't they know who I am?!

[ Tim grins back and shrugs. Random life-or-death situations are a side effect, but seeing an old friend is worth it, in his opinion. She looks - the same, really, but that doesn't shock him. Bart is at least a year too young. This is why he hates time travel. ]

We could always put a charge on one of the walls if the water gets too deep.

[ Said with all the calmness of someone who has explosives, a rebreather, and a grappling hook (to keep them from being swept out with the water) on his person. ]

I'm checking the books for mentions of whatever spell is effecting the windows. I want to know if it's the windows or some sort of forcefield that covers the room before we start doing plastique renovations.

Arturia isn't really thrilled with this situation either, if she's honest. Her usual default for this sort of situation is to use Excalibur on it until it stops being a problem but that seems to only be making things worse (like some of Arturia's other life decisions). She swipes half-heartedly at a broom only to watch it continue on as if she weren't there.

"I don't know, but I've known magi to do some rather foolish things."

"Foolish lik-- really?!"

Waver whipped around immediately. He knew that voice. He wasn't expecting that voice, but by God did he know it! Rather than focus on anything else, Waver narrowed his eyes at Saber with no small amount of distrust in them.

"What the hell are you doing here!? I just saw you out on the river!"

[Excuse while her jaw drops for a bit and she facepalms, because of course throwing the brooms out the window would end up being possible and of course it's Bart who would figure that one out. She does end up grinning though, if only because it's hard to not cheer up at seeing one of her friends.

She can definitely do a round of Impulse questions. At least one. Two might be stretching it.]

Yeah, looks like it, and fine? I mean we're kind of in a death trap, not that is new for us. My parents are doing okay, Uncle Ish has been a lot of help. And, [how to put it without accidentally ruining anything? She can only figure that he's from after their Zandia mission for her sake.] do you remember the really big thing with Secret?

How are you doing, mon?

[Besides way slower than usual. She can actually track his movements.]

This is not the time to have this conversation. Probably. Arturia is tired (she'd forgotten what that felt like), hungry, and in a bad mood all around. Having a human body instead of being a being of spiritual heroic energy is straight up bullshit as far as she is concerned right now. She glances towards Waver for a moment, trying to decipher what the boy is saying. It takes a moment for things to click but yes, that is a familiar face.

"...That was the Fourth Holy Grail War. The Fifth War just concluded." She's a little confused, but trying not to let it show. To help cover it up, Arturia kicks a broom away from her, scowling.

"You must be mistaken."

Edited 2018-03-30 15:22 (UTC)

"Don't be stupid, I understand how time works!" was the immediate response. Waver was running on pure outrage and well, not much else, which made all of his actions that much more...whatever the opposite of charming was.

Waver doesn't even pay attention to the brooms around him. All he knows that in flailing his arms around wildly, he accidentally smacks a broom and causes it to fall into a few others, sending them to the floor like dominoes.

"If the fifth war's over then you're sixty years ahead of me and there's True Magic at work! That's not hard to understand at all!"

"It hasn't been sixty years, it's been ten. The Fifth Holy Grail War took place in Fuyuki in the year two thousand and four." Arturia is really having this conversation with this magi. While they fight brooms. She gives up on Excalibur and moves to sheath the blade before simply reaching out to grab a broom and hurl it out into the mass of oncoming cleaning implements.

Okay that didn't help but it felt good.

"True Magic may be a possibility."

"Mission?" Remus blinks, head tilting ever so slightly in confusion. It's not a habit that he thinks about much, though it does make him look ever so slightly like a dog.

If pushed, he'll blame it on the full moon. The one that was in the sky before he arrived here.

"I don't know anything about a mission. And who am I supposed to be finding?"

“That rat! Peter.” Sirius felt it important to address Remus’s questions in order of his own priorities. “I thought Dumbledore would send someone.”

Peter was the proof he was innocent. But more importantly, Sirius wanted him rotting in Azkaban in his place. He knew the odds were slim but he still hoped he’d been caught— or Remus ate him that night. It was best not to voice that last part out loud.

"Ten?!"

Waver's eyes went huge. It was ridiculous. Everything! Was! Ridiculous

"How the hell could it only be ten what happened?!"

Perhaps it was too much to ask Saber to be an oracle for him on the topic of the Grail War. At the moment, such a thought was the furthest thing from Waver's mind. He needed something to focus on, and this was at least something familiar to latch onto.

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TEST DRIVE ※ 2

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MY BOY WAVER ;3; also A

WAVES AT EXCITEDLY!

Re: A

WAVES BACK! SAME FANDOM!

standard waver apology tho

no apologies i love the boy

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i love sabes too so :DDD