wildermemes | TEST DRIVE ※ 2

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test drive meme

TEST DRIVE ※ 2

TEST DRIVE ※ 2
The spirit of the Green needs defenders but the game of fate it must play makes it so that its plans are like a garden, always in need of careful pruning. Only certain individuals are capable of living a life of adventure -- and even many who are capable may not be the heroes the Wilderlands needs.

The only way for the Green to be sure is by providing a test -- and as far as tests go, this one's a doozy, because the situation is real. There are countless conflicts all over the Wilderlands that are in need of intervention, so the Green tosses you head first into one of them with no warning or explanation. During it, you may perhaps run into others like yourself, thrown in over their heads -- or into others that came to the Wilderlands before you. Either way, your only chance of getting through it is to work together with whatever other unfortunates you find.

Welcome to the wilds, hero. Good luck with that whole 'deadly peril' thing.

MICKEY, YOU HAD ONE JOB!
A powerful Sorcerer left his apprentice in charge of his lair, but the apprentice has made a mess of things. He enchanted a broom and animated it to do some of his chores, like filling a basin with buckets of water. After the broom went out of control and overfilled the basin, he was forced to destroy it, but the shards only turned into more anthropomorphic brooms.

Now, hundreds of brooms are pouring water into the Sorcerer's lair, the Sorcerer's apprentice has run away (and magically locked the door, because he's a coward) and you're stuck in the middle of it all as the brooms keep pouring more and more water down the stairs into the Sorcerers' stronghold.

This room is filled with the requisite wizarding accouterments (like a stuffed alligator hanging from the ceiling) and most of it is just replaceable magical tchotchkes, but some of the books here are priceless and one of a kind. The Sorcerer is a force for good and his careless apprentice has made it so important ancient books may be destroyed before he returns, ones that could help turn the tide against evil in the Wilderlands.

The Green whispers to you that the brooms must be stopped and the books must be saved. The voices tell you that the magic in them is needed to save lives.

Also, you kinda need to not drown. Because the water's up to your knees and drowning's definitely a thing that might be happening if this keeps carrying on. The door is magically locked and the windows are magically warded so that while water can be poured out through them, people can't travel in or out of them. You're trapped.

Time to start bailing water and working together. Things are starting to look a little damp.

STUFF YOU CAN DO
A. FIGHT A HOUSEHOLD CLEANING IMPLEMENT

The brooms can probably be destroyed permanently! Maybe. Possibly.

It's worth a shot, right? Aside from the destructive magic you might find yourself now possessing (or superpowers or magic weapons...) The Sorcerer seems to have been doing some experimentation with gunpowder, among other things. The lair has firewood, flint and other firemaking supplies. Also axes and other tools.

The brooms can potentially reproduce from the shards if destroyed but if burned to ash or if the pieces are fine enough it may be possible to stop them once and for all. But if you fail, well, you may find your problem multiplying.

B. MESS WITH MAGIC

The Sorcerer has a lot of interesting-looking books on magic. Maybe you can find something useful within one of them that can stop the brooms and help make some of the water disappear?

Or you may just accidentally curse yourself. Good luck with that.

(OOC: All magic within the books can potentially help somewhat but only a little. Otherwise, characters can god any kind of curse effects they like for their character that occur from reading the books or trying to cast magic: legs turning to jelly, their voices turning squeaky, characters shrinking, characters growing in height, etc. etc. Feel free to get creative!)

C. BAIL A BUDDY OUT

Sometimes the best thing to do is push up your sleeves, grab a bucket, and get to work. While you can't climb out the warded windows, the water can be poured out of them and there are plenty of buckets to use to bail water. Grab a new friend and try to form a bucket brigade for a very work-intensive and awkward first introduction.

D. THE FLOOR IS LAVA

Well, not necessarily lava, but as the room starts filling with water, the floating furniture might be the only thing keeping you and the people around you alive. Help the people around you perch on furniture and stay afloat. Save the important books if you can, too, but you may want to make not drowning and preventing others from drowning a priority until the crisis is over.

G. FREESTYLE

The situation is pretty silly, with wild magic, gunpowder, anthropomorphic brooms, and flooding going on. Feel free to make something up! It's a big lair with a lot going on.

OOC INFO
✦ This TDM is open to everyone. However, top-levels should be made for potential new characters only. Characters currently in the game should only tag top-levels.

✦ Potential players may use test drive threads as their log samples. However, at least one post in their thread must fit the requirements for apps, both in length (200 words) and in quality. If you do plan on using a thread as a sample, please make sure the writing throughout your threads is a good example of your writing skills and has some solid examples of the character's voice.

✦ Current players can count TDMs towards AC. They can only count towards comment-based AC proofs.

✦ Potential players can opt to keep these threads as game canon when they app in, or start over fresh, based on preference. The magic bringing them to the game universe can fog their memories, if players don't want their character to remember TDM threads when introing into the game.

✦ Apps open: 4/1/18

✦ The game has limited slots. Please keep this in mind! We've had a lot of replurks in the announcement plurk, but the game is meant to be a very small game, with only 25 slots total, and many of these were already filled in the game's beta test round. There may be only around 10 or so open slots when apps open to everyone. The game will have a wait queue if the game hits cap during the app round but please be prepared for potential disappointment if we happen to hit cap you wind up not getting a player slot immediately. It's not personal; we'd love to accommodate everyone but the nature of the kind of campaign we're trying to run wouldn't work with a larger game.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Andraste's Flaming can you--!

[He was about to get a little bit angry, and start ranting in his now tiny little squeaky voice, not really appreciating the splashing very much when he turns to the direction said splashes are coming from and...]

Maker... is that an Archdemon!?

[but wasn't this explicitly not Thedas? He's unsure what is before him exactly, but his hand grabs the hilt of his sword, still sheathed, just in case. His breathing intensifying as Spyro moves closer and... he begins to wince at the extremely loud buzzing sound.]

Ow! Loud! Buzzing! Could you please stop that! I would very much like to keep my hearing, at least until I'm old and grey which will hopefully be many years from now...

MAKER PLEASE STO-- AH!

[he manages to somehow roll out of the way of the oncoming and deadly toppling furniture. Is this what being a rogue is like? He'd have to ask Leliana when he got home... if he doesn't get squashed in the most humiliating way first.]

Hello! Helloooooo! Can you hear me!? Please stop knocking the furniture over! I'm going to be crushed, or drowned. Two things that sound delightfully awful!

[his vision is obscured by the furniture that tried to murder him (he's not bitter or anything) so he can't really see Patience very well, he'll be surely in for a shock when he does.]

Yes, yes please help! Just... stop doing what you're doing for now!

We're all gonna drown in the stupidest way imaginable if something doesn't stop these brooms! Ugh.

[She snuffs deeply at the air. There's the sort of wet-dough-and-bad-breath smell she's starting to associate with humans, but where? From her height there's not a lot of places one could be concealed from her. But the closest one is... right... she leans down, inhaling... right here. Her coppery eyes focus and blink.]

Okay, no. I'm big but I'm not school big.

[When she speaks her great jaw moves but what comes out is a complex staccato of what sounds like clucking and grunts, like a bass-voiced bird chattering. Meanwhile her human 'voice', a hopefully tough-sounding teenager, sounds in peoples' heads.]

Rude! I said I'd cooperate, didn't I?!

[ Not explicitly of course, plus his history of...lying...helps nothing, but he's going to be mock offended anyway.

He'll pass more of the books off on Shuichi though, giving himself enough of a free hand with which to grab at the back of the chair floating nearby the stairs. He's going to pretty inelegantly start dragging that up out of the water, which probably looks special, but he's got this -- he can drag life-size wax figures across a fucking campus apparently, so he can do this. ]

Which means you should be thinking more about how you're going to make your idea work... But since I'm so nice, I'll help you out.

[Nothing of the sort was said, but Shuichi lets it pass with just a long, searching look at Ouma as he's loaded up with more books. Is this actual cooperation? He can't help but second guess it, but that's Ouma's own fault, of course. Luckily, the situation is a bit too dire for him to overthink it too much. He doesn't think Ouma would actively sabotage an effort to fix this, probably. He's a chaotic little gremlin, but not to the extent of fucking himself over as well. Probably.

Stop trying to make sense of Ouma. That's a task that needs more brainpower than he can spare it right now.

They could try just barricading the door, but it would probably take a lot more than just the armchair to do that. And more troublesome, they'd have to block it all at once to stop the brooms from just barging right back in, and maneuvering that much furniture would take more time than they could probably just hold the doors closed for.

Frowning, he scans the room for some kind of solution. With his arms full of books he can't really help with the armchair, but at least Ouma seems to have that mostly under control. They just need something...

Ah. A thought occuring to him, he turns back to drop the books back onto the armchair, mercifully only after the chair is all the way out onto flat, solid ground.]

Do you think you could get the doors closed with all the brooms on the other side? At least briefly?

[He might have an idea.]

[ Thanks he wasn't using that or anything!!! Ouma looks at Shuichi with a raised brow, but doesn't complain because Shuichi at least waited until he pulled up the chair -- as long as nothing's tumbling back into the water, it's chill.

He drops the few books tucked he had under his own arm on the chair with the ones Shuichi's just dropped, crossing his arms as he regards Shuichi. ]

Pfft, yeah sure, easy. As long as you're reaaally quick about whatever you're gonna do!

[ He can't exactly barricade anything himself because he's a weak bitch, alright. Not that he'll admit as much, because... ]

I've got a deathly allergy to living brooms, so I can't have them touching me or anything... It'll get icky.

[ Ouma uncrosses his arms, shaking one of his wrists in dramatic demonstration of this fact as he looks over toward where the brooms are marching through the hallway and up more stairs. He doesn't bother moving immediately since it'll be a good minute before the window of time where they're all on the other side comes around. ]

[Look, he's a weak bitch too, okay? But he'll just take Ouma's words at face value for once -- the first part, he'll just ignore the obvious nonsense -- so he nods, face serious.]

I'll be fast.

[And he turns and hurriedly...wades back into the water. Bye Ouma.

He has a goal in mind, though, so he doesn't look back. All he can do is trust Ouma can handle things at the door for a moment. The stairs disappear out from under him and he has to start swimming, moving as quickly as he can though the choppy waters for the nearest window. Specifically, the curtain hung alongside it.

The curtain itself is a thick, heavy swath of fabric, but he's not particularly concerned about that right now. He goes instead for the fancy corded rope looped around the middle holding it open. It seems pretty decorative, but it's long and fairly thick and it seems like their best bet at the moment. He undoes the loop wrapped around the curtain, letting the fabric fall loose to drift in the rising water, and hurries to get the rope off its bracket on the wall. Luckily, it's just tied in place there. Thank god for small miracles. The rope comes off after a minute or so of working at it, and he kicks off the wall to hurry back towards the door and Ouma with it.]

[ lmfao what is this bitch doing

Ouma only looks more skeptical as he goes back into the water. Okay. But he'll shrug about it, cupping a hand to his mouth to yell an Encouragement™: ]

Don't slip and drown, Saihara-chan!!

[ Ouma would love to stand there and watch what Shuichi's doing, but he supposes he'll have to give him the benefit of the doubt as the brooms have mostly made their way marching through the hall again. If it's a flop, Ouma just figures that'll be more debate fuel to try something else, so it's whatever.

Casually keeping his distance, Ouma heads over to stand nearby the door, relaxing against the wall slightly as he waits for the right moment. He looks over to find where Shuichi is during this, of course, squinting at what he's doing with the curtain.

...Oh. That might work.

Suddenly grinning over all this as the final broom fucking finally gets out of the way, Ouma jumps at the opportunity to grab at the door handles and start pulling them shut. They're kind of heavy, as the doors are on the bigger side, so he understands why Shuichi had him do this -- he'll have them closed by the time Shuichi gets back. Hopefully the brooms are too stupidly programmed with their task to pay attention to these kinds of variables immediately!! ]

[Shuichi comes scrambling back out of the water, very nearly doing what Ouma had told him not to do and slipping a little on the steps. But he gets there without disaster, rushing to help Ouma push the heavy door the rest of the way closed. All he gets a glimpse of through the gap before it shuts is the movement of the brooms, too hard to parse to tell how much time they might have.

Better hurry, then.

He wraps one end of the rope around one of the handles, barely even glancing over as he tosses the other end to the other boy. Ouma is smart. He probably gets the idea. Shuichi busies himself with his end, working the thick cord into a knot around the handle and pulling it tight.]

[ Shuichi........ At least he didn't slip though, and as much as Ouma likes making light of dire situations, this would be the worst time for Shuichi to do something he'd otherwise laugh at. But thankfully, he's overall a reliable guy. At least there's that. Ouma's slightly impressed by the plan, but he won't admit as much.

He takes the rope end when it's offered his way, not missing a beat (they're cutting it close enough) as he starts looping his part through the handle into what'll be a decent knot -- he places a foot against the door itself for stability and yanks back on it hard as soon as he's finished, tightening it.

He offers the excess of his end to Shuichi. ]

You might wanna reinforce it in case they get pissed off!

[Shuichi nods without even tearing his gaze from his knot on the handle, blindly grabbing the offered excess rope to wrap tightly around both handles as many times as he can get out of it. He pulls it taut as his scrawny detective arms can manage, trying to eliminate any bit of give in the rope wrapping.]

We should-- [ pause for another hard yank and a grunt ] --we should use whatever time this buys to barricade the door, too.

[As he fusses with the very ends of the rope, trying to tie one more knot into them for whatever that's worth, he inclines his head towards the armchair. It's not much, but it's a start.]

Huuuh? You sure are making me do a lot of work, y'know...

[ Ouma bitches, although he doesn't make Shuichi ask him twice before he starts going for the armchair...small miracles. But also, he's not interested in screwing himself over if this actually works.

He pushes the books off the chair and onto the ground for now, not gentle with the armchair at all as he drags it over toward the door with both hands. This isn't fun!!! He'll have it back over there before Shuichi finishes using up all the rope's excess, at least. ]

...You should probably tie this to the door, too. Unless you feel like swimming for more furniture. I bet that's safe!

[look dude they can do something fun when animated broomsticks aren't attempting to drown them. fantasyland must have tons of opportunity for shenanigans, you'll love it.]

We should get more furniture anyway, just to--

[His point is conveniently punctuated by a sudden banging on the door from the other side, the doors straining against the ropes as the brooms presumably batter them from the other side. Paling, Shuichi fumbles to tie the chair into the mix with the last of the rope. He can worry over the proper treatment of apparently rare and potentially dangerous books later.]

[ it's just not a good first impression, ok!!

But since Shuichi's fumbling and shit, Ouma will kneel down next to him and swat his hands away. Nervous knot-tying isn't something that's going to turn out well.

There's also a selfish angle going on here, because if he's the one doing this, well then-- ]

Can you grab another one of these?

[ Ouma lifts up one end of the rope briefly before returning to loop the excess around the arms of the chair. ]

Then we could pull in the bigger pieces a looot easier! Like that table you were stuck on earlier.

[ It'd make their barricading better at a faster rate if they could get the big daddy furniture first, but he's also considering how hard that would be to do with both of their scrawny asses in the midst of a flooded area. Where is?? Gonta when you need him?? ]

[ where is literally anyone else when they need them. almost anyone else would have been more useful here than these two.

Shuichi is quietly, mildly appreciative to have Ouma take over for him. He's even more appreciative to be immediately given a different task so he doesn't waste precious seconds on feeling useless while someone else does things for him. He nods, hurrying back into the water without even a care for the wetness at this point. He's already soaked, who cares.

It does occur to him just briefly that Ouma taking care of things here means he's the one left going back in the water, but it's not even worth pointing out. Who really care which of them does what? Why waste the time discussing it? Besides, if he's being perfectly logical here, if only one of them has to go in the water then it might as well be the person who's already wet.

These are the kind of thoughts that keep him distracted while he swims back over to tug the other curtain's rope loose. Better to dwell on such petty things rather than their potential death by drowning, at least. On the way back, he makes a detour to grab the leg of that floating table from earlier and tug it back through the waves towards the stairs.]

[ honestly........ they're both intelligence types, so this isn't a balanced party at all!!

Ouma focuses on securing the chair, grumbling to himself about how annoying the brooms are, causing a ruckus on the other side of the door... When he's done with it, he'll kick at the chair once, as if to test how anchored it is.

Satisfied, he'll turn to catch up on what Shuichi's doing. Looks like he's already going for the table, which is more than Ouma was hoping for. ]

Wow, Saihara-chan!! You're super ahead of the game!

[ Not that this is a game Ouma prefers or enjoys...at least he's got Shuichi here with him, so that makes it more tolerable.

Especially because he doesn't have to get wet. ]

Wanna tie the rope to that so we can reel it in together?

[ Because...there's no way they're getting that up these stairs by either one of themselves individually. ]

[Shuichi just nods to that suggestion, pulling the table as close to dry ground as he can before it bunps up against the lower steps underwater. He rests against the stairs still in the water and works the rooe quickly, uneasy just glancing at the doors straining againt the rope around the handles. It looks like it's holding alright, but he'll feel more comfortable with a Les Mis-esque barricade tossed into the mix.

The new rope secured to the front two table legs, he climbs the rest of the way out of the water and shoves the end of the rope at Ouma, beyond caring about how wet he still is and how heavily his hair and soggy clothes are dripping.]

Let's just work fast, okay?

[Is he succeeding at looking cool under pressure? Ehhh. Maybe halfway there. Splashing around a flooding room with the lingering threat of drowning is a little bit different from a trial. He's out of his comfort zone.]

[ Ouma grabs what's shoved at him with a grin, shrugging as he adjusts his grip so that both of his wrists are facing up -- he doesn't want to strain himself too much here. His immediate idea is a pulley system of sorts, but a quick glance tells him there's nothing immediately useful for such a thing -- plus, they do have a time limit.

Ugh...physical effort. ]

I'll try my best to keep up!

[ Maaaybe Shuichi's a little cooler in these kinds of situations, although Ouma wouldn't say as much unless he was teasing him -- and immediately point out how he looks like a drowned, homeless animal right after.

But a likable one!! ]

On your count, then?

[ look, next time they can do what ouma wants to do instead, provided it involves no knives or leaving others to potentially drown. just put up with the physical exertion for now please. ]

Right. Then...one, two...!

[He pulls on three, straining with the effort. It's a heavy table, but the biggest struggle is probably just getting it out without getting stuck on the stairs. A leg does catch on some step under the water, but luckily a wave nudges it just high enough to slip loose and Shuichi only barely stumbles backwards into Ouma.

Jeeze. Heavy as this thing is, he definitely doesn't want to have to point out afterwards that just a table and armchair makes for a pretty pathetic barricade.]

[ let him LIVE!! Although he would rather play something harmless right now, honestly. The brooms aren't inherently dangerous per se, but it's hard to have fun with this when he's simultaneously trying to avoid becoming soaked to the bone.

Ouma audibly groans about it when he starts pulling on his part of the rope, thinking this is the most uncool thing ever. It only gets better when Shuichi almost knocks into him, and Ouma instinctively lets go of the rope with one hand to grab the back of Shuichi's shoulder so he doesn't knock him in the face or whatever. ]

Hey, don't crush me...

[ He states in unnecessary hyperbole, because of course.

At least Shuichi seems to catch his own balance back on his own. Ouma whines about the extra stress on the one arm, quickly returning to using both hands as he leans almost the entirety of his weight on the rope...which...isn't much. But he's trying. It's working, at least. ]

I really don't think I'm cut out for this kind of thing!

[ He needs subordinates if this kind of shit is going to keep up around here.

Big ones!! ]

"Like, take it from the Leech to start throwing insults first." She is not sorry for this at all. Helena is reading him wrong on purpose. She is without her pack and has been acting like a shit to Kevin since she has laid eyes on him.

Although she is starting to take pity on him. Obviously he needs her help. Helena thinks she is much smarter than him and thus much more capable of solving this.

She sneers at him just a bit curling one lip up. "What'd you do? I need deets or like, I can't do jack."

"Oh come on, dude, you know what I mean! I didn't start it!" shouts the one who totally did.

It's been bad enough finding out that werewolves are for sure, 100% a real thing. The fact that they would all hate him (and this one does in particular) is just kind of the cherry on top.

Kevin was a lot happier believing that was just an old vampire conspiracy to keep young bloods like him from going off into the woods and places where they're harder to boss around, but he doesn't have time to muse about the particulars. He's busy. One of the brooms gets in under his guard and it's only inhuman speed that turns a full strike into a graze.

"Just see if there's anything in those books that will stop some of these dudes!"

Nothing anybody's found has been enough to magically solve the water problem or the broom problem, but hey. Hope, eternal, springing, all that jazz.

"At least call me dudette," Helena snaps. She is feeling her rage today. This whole place is made of bullshit magic.

That's right, she thought it. Just because she looks like a kid doesn't mean she thinks like one. In Kevin's defense, Helena could stand to calm the calamity that is in her head over him and his presence. She's not even sure if Wyrm taint is a thing in this brave new world. He just reminds her of her Gaia-given duty every time she has to deal with him.

"Hold them off me. You do that. I try applying whatever I can to the problem, deal?" Helena has to tilt her head back to look at him.

'Dudette'. Kevin can do that. Maybe. If he remembers later. The good intentions, at least, are there.

Helena tells him to cover her, too, which is probably the more important thing right now.

"I got you!" he confirms. Kevin pushes back against the brooms with more confidence, trying to take ground from them instead of focusing on holding them to one spot. It's riskier, but it definitely has them focused on him. Broom handles clash again and again, splinters flying.

"Noice," Helena says not knowing how dorky that must sound. She cracks her knuckles loudly. It probably doesn't sound pleasant for anyone who isn't her. Helena likes the way it makes her feel.

"AHHHHHH!" She just starts screaming as she charges for the books. Helena somehow manages to use one of the broom bases as a jump point to launch herself into the air. The tiny werewolf is going to tackle the pile of books.

Gaia help these two. Luna might be too busy laughing her head off in five different ways.

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TEST DRIVE ※ 2

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Number 1 because I can't NOT

Sorry it took me so long, I've been very busy!

Same! Don't be sorry!

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